Feminism is a Dirty Word
I made this video to challenge sexual double standards and misogynistic language in music. I attempted to highlight the absurdity, by flipping lyrics that had, when spoken by a man, become normalised. Combatting this:
“Bitches ain’t sh*t but hoes and tricks / Lick on these nuts and suck the d*ck.”-Snoop Dogg.
With:
“Hibernate in my fishcake so I can shoot my load from my lady lake”- Moi!
Language is powerful and I want to focus on two of the dirtiest words in the English language: Feminism and cunnilingus.
Once, whilst flyering at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (a totally soul destroying task), I was shouting phrases like five star! Award winning! To a woman passing by, none of which were getting her attention, so I cried…it’s FEMINIST! And, I kid you not, she literally gagged. She had a physical reaction to a word that signifies the fight for her to live freely and safely in this world. I stood there completely dumbfounded. The fact that this woman had biologically rejected the concept I feel most passionately about, deeply depressed me and…I was pretty certain she wouldn’t come to the show.
Unfortunately, as a society we seek to label everything and sometimes those labels carry a stigma that is difficult to shake off. The word feminist has some complicated connotations, connotations that not everyone can necessarily identify with, even though they may agree with the fundamental principle. But that’s FINE! We don’t have to agree on everything to fight our cause. We just need to admit that we want to be treated equally by society. We don’t all want the same things; we just want to be able to choose from the same selection as everybody else (men).
I find it problematic that we need to label ourselves in the first place, surely equality should be everyone’s default position unless your actions say otherwise? How to move forward then? I personally swing (no pun intended) between two opposing ideas. I would argue that ownership of language and regularising the word is key to understanding and therefore change. Yet, in another sense these titles may slow us down and we should perhaps concentrate on what people do, rather that what they call themselves. ‘A rose by any other name…’ and all that crap.
So lets move onto cunnilingus. Now there’s a phrase I will never get tired of hearing! Our sex lives are just recovering from years of patriarchy. Women are finally finding the confidence to explore their bodies and say no to acts they feel uncomfortable with. But, the idea of a woman enjoying cunnilingus is STILL difficult for many. Even close friends of mine were not completely at peace with this song, unnerved by what I was saying and how I was saying it. Despite the fact that they have tolerated/and frequently sung along to lyrics such as “Baby girl pull your pants up, I only want your face.” Thanks for the romance Fredo Santana. Look, I’m not saying that we should mimic this behaviour in everyday life, but sometimes you have to role reverse to get the message across.
Even my laptop is joining in with the patriarchy! I keep spelling ‘cunnilingus’ with only ONE missing letter, and my sexist computer has No spelling suggestions, what on earth do you think I’m trying to spell??? Microsoft needs, along with everybody else, to get used to the fact that women love and deserve oral sex just as much as men ok!?? In fact more than men! We haven’t suffered years of oppression and involuntary bleeding to come last on the sexual favours list. We should be getting head every f**cking day as some kind of sexual pardon.
However, it is understandable that many are uncomfortable with the concept of face to labia action, as we don’t even have an appropriate, inoffensive, medical word for ‘down there’. If we can’t reference it properly, how can we tell our partner to go there! It all comes back to language in the end. I’m sure the readers of Diva Mag are aware, but the word Vagina actually means ‘Sheath’, which means sword holder. I know. WOW. I frequently ask women in the audience what they call theirs and I’m often greeted with an embarrassed giggle (which must be an unclear signifier in the bedroom) or a euphemism like Fanny or Noo Noo (which I find equally off putting).
I know that I’m preaching to the converted here, but we can all lose touch with our own bodies from time to time if we allow society to push us. So, if you haven’t already, grab a mirror and name your lady parts! And, if you’re in need of inspiration I’ll leave you with some suggestions: Curly Curtains, Vertical Smile, My Cave of Wonders, Bearded Oyster and a personal favourite of mine: Lord Vulvamort. Enjoy!
